365 days!

So this is our 365th day of being married. Charlie made me eggs.

I was making something with milk the other day on the stove and spilled a little.

I had to go get Charlie right away, because although it is no Face of the Virgin Mary burned into a Grilled Cheese, it does look an awful lot like a Jesus Fish.

And he has his own bubble.

I think we are going to sell it on Ebay.


Meet my number 1 babysitter, the Zoo-man.

He keeps her clean and happy and even checks diapers...



We went garage sale hunting for a few things we needed, and found a jogger stroller (not pictured, but certainly awesome).

We also found some great used toys that help support our family band.

Madee likes the tambourine the best...


And then I found these lovely little hand crocheted christening gowns with little crocheted bonnets.


This little satin one has such pretty little beaded detail..



And the other is linen.

I just love the hem of this one...


Madee likes her new little hat.
Someone's little granny made these...little ribbons running through them...


I am sure you will be seeing these little numbers again...and after we play dress up and pictures, I plan to make frames for them to hang them in her new room.

Did I tell you we are re-doing a room for her? She is moving one room over.

We let her pick her own color...

Anniversaries, Meatloaf and Rubber Helmets

Wait for it. We will get there.

My daily favorite thing is this sign that hangs on the deck from our wedding. I love how it indicates that a wedding celebration is always going on inside the house.

Because most of the time that is totally the case.


I am not sure what I would have done without Charlie the past few days. I haven't been this sick, exhausted or emotional since, well, I don't know.

Other than Madee's newfound love for being held by her legs upside down, it hasn't been an easy week.

And now these two are sniffling and coughing...


So we are gearing up for round two of this terrible cold. Boo. My poor buddies.

Charlie was and determined to get me back on track today so he took me to Billy's for meatloaf sandwiches and hand cut fries.

It was delicious and just as I was starting to feel a little more like myself, Madee flung herself from her carseat and straight into the wall and slid down.

I jumped out of my shoes, knocking over chairs and when we made eye contact, we were both just stunned.


Of course so was every one else in the restaurant.

It was horrifying, but there was actually a very quick recovery that did include a bloody murder scream the moment after she made eye contact and smiled with her Dad.


It was pretty horrifying, for everyone, and we all had a nice relieved laugh once the whole thing was over. Probably everyone in that restaurant had kids and began to tell the stories of broken bones and hospital visits, and it all pretty much just sounded like static.

I just kept thinking of how many ways I should have could have would have prevented it and how stupid could I be, or selfish or ...

And then I start thinking how much am I going to beat myself up when something like that happens and something actually happens?

Because this time nothing did and I am still feeling guilty over it.


This is what she looked like when I got to her...don't worry, she still looks like that now.

On Memories, Mammaries and Diapers...

Oh my sweet little 6 week old boo. You were so tiny and scrum-diddly-umptious.

It is almost hard to remember that little limp baby...


So this is my favorite daily thing today.
My parents bought it for me for my first Mother's Day.
I just love the way this makes me feel. Like someone understands that sometimes this amazing love is all about her and me and sharing DNA and flesh and family and memories and every other special thing we share.


For the past few weeks we have been going through weaning, not by either of our choice, but with her increase in appetite for solid food, and the very nature of things, it is just happening.

It is the first big event of letting go, and it is hard for both of us. There are moments when I feel like I am failing her, and I fear that our bond that is so special just won't be the same.

I am afraid that the most obvious thing that separated me from anyone else in her life is gone. And now I am just another person to her.

It just isn't easy to let go of her babyhood.

I am just so grateful that I was able (and willing!) to nurse at all, and that this transition comes naturally. Charlie keeps reminding me how hard it would be 6 months from now, when she understands more, or how awful it would be if I had to cut her off or wean her forcefully due to another pregnancy.

And he is right.

That would be way more devastating. But this still hurts.

I just always want to do what is the very best for her. And it is hard to face the reality that sometimes, despite my best intentions, I might not be able to.

It is hard to be a parent sometimes.

I've seen these Seventh Generation diapers all the time at the store, but I guess I thought they were generic.

Then I saw Nicole Ritchie buying them for her celebrity baby, and after a little research I realized they aren't generic, they are hippie diapers.

I bought a pack to try, simply because they don't have any stupid cartoons on them, and are a beautiful linen color. What can I say? I am a sucker for pretty things...

But there is really more to these diapers than the pretty outward appearance. They are chlorine free diapers. Did you know leading brand diapers have chlorine packs in them, to mask the odor of urine? (heebs!)

I was kind of shocked. I am sure my diapers had chlorine, and so many babies live long fruitful lives despite the fact that some noxious gas is rubbing against their precious little hoo-hoo.

But it just sounded knuckleheaded terrible to be strapping some chemical used in enemy warfare to my baby's perfect little butt.

We are all a little happier around here for doing good things for hoo-hoos and the environment!


I know it is a little out of focus, but just look at that silly little puss. I miss my lip kisses. No lip kisses when Mommy is sick.

So yummy...

So serious...

So cute.
Yes sir, that's my baby...


I love you baby, you are the most colorful memory I own.

Momma's Sick

It pretty much stinks to have a job you can't even call in sick to.

Thankfully Charlie is here, because sometimes I can get so tired and achy and weepy I just can't imagine what I would do without him.

Or Zoie.
She has a way of changing my outlook when I don't feel so good. First of all, she is ancient and stiff and sore and old and did I mention OLD?

And still she greets every morning, ready for the chance to terrorize Ono, tell squirrels where they can stick it, and remind Zeus that senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. And that purpose is to police his fun.

She can't feel great. But she acts like she does. In that way I try to be more like Zoie.

Anyway, Zoie doesn't usually like to pay attention to the baby (unless the baby is eating) but today she totally engaged her in play. Madee and I were sitting at my desk and Zoie comes trotting up with a toy and and as we tugged, she made eye contact with Madee and was fully directing her play towards her.

It was adorable. I love that Zoie Bear.

This is my daily favorite thing.

It is a doggie door knocker from John at Charlie's work that we received for a wedding present.

I thought it was just too cool to be on the outside of the house. It doesn't look like any of our dogs, but who cares, really when it is a huge, heavy brass doggie door knocker.


It has to be the best door knocker ever.

Madee has started snacking on rice crackers...they are crunchy at first and then they dissolve in her mouth, on her shirt, in her seat. They get everywhere.

She loves doing things like us.


And now...

The moment you have all been waiting for...

Check those adorable choppers...

Half Birthday Happenings

Hey guys...have you been to Target?

There is so much cool stuff there...
I always get lots of stuff when we go...and now that I am 6 months old we get to look at a whole new section of toys!

So yesterday was my half birthday, which means I am halfway to 1 year old!

Weston came over for playtime and we had lots of fun.


He's totally my buddy. He lives right down the street.

Look we are playing with our hands. I like him. I totally recognize and respond to him.

So I have that going for me.


He thinks he's my boyfriend, and he's a biter. We bite stuff together. It is kind of nice because when we are together, we always have something new to bite on.

Guess who?


Oh yeah. It's Weston.

He's such a clown...


We went to school together and had a great time biting new things like balls and shapes.

Feet are tickly!


Ouch!


I told you he's a biter. You should see his grill. I can't wait until my teeth come in more...


Hey check it out! This ball is killer!


I get to see other kids that are a little older when Mommy and I go to school.

Look what I learned.

Some of the kids like to walk like our dogs.

Check it.

I totally have my chest and a leg off the floor.

I just love to learn stuff anytime and anywhere.


I heart school!

6 months old!

Can you believe how fast the time goes?

Don't blink!

I am so amazed by her progress...and her appetite!


Yesterday was our first day of Mommy and Me school.


She loves playing with all the toys and watching all the other little ones.


Everywhere she goes we leave a wake of oohs and aahs. She is so friendly, always smiling and waving at people.


We stopped foot, bike, and vehicular traffic during this little photo shoot.


Everybody needs to get a piece of Madee.


She is just such a delightful and special little girl.


And did I mention brilliant?

She's a little baby genius!


I love how she sees everything, needs to touch it and know it and show me how to see it the way she does.

We are buddies. We do everything together.


My favorite has to be her sense of humor. She is always laughing at the dogs or a towel or whatever she is playing with.

She is a funny funny little kid.

Which is awesome, because someone finally gets my humor...


She likes to get up close and personal...


It is easier to grab and pull you...


She gives kisses, but they are pretty wet and you might get a nibble..


She justs wonders if everyone tastes as sweet as she does.

What a perfect little angel...this has easily been the most tiring, the most challenging, and by far the most amazing 6 months of my life.

Happy Half Birthday Little Princess!