i am so smart! S-M-R-T!

what a happy little booger!

I almost can't believe she is out...

She is a chubby little bunny, so pretty and so smart. She discovered her fingers and eyelids yesterday, as well as how they may work together in an effort to upset her.

She has mittens on now until the danger subsides. It is funny how she grabs her own face and cries and all of the sudden I feel like it is my fault. Motherhood is huge...I have loved many people and my love for Charlie is quite intense, but when I met him, he was already able to care for himself. It is overwhelming to love something so vulnerable and to feel so responsible for someone so fragile.

She also giggles so much in her sleep that it is hard for me to sleep, because I keep cracking up every time she does...she probably got that from me and all the "America's Funniest Videos" I watched while carrying her. She likes to hear us laugh.

I am excited for the day that I am much better at schlepping her around, getting her in and out of cars and carseats, going shopping or walking or visiting with her, because right now it seems all so overwhelming.

And with Charlie traveling so much in February, and the two of us alone together, I will have to figure it out to get to the store and whatnot...I will go crazy if I feel stuck here...

Plus, we may even accompany him on a trip or two, and I can't imagine getting through an airport with her...I can barely get myself to a plane, and now I have so much gear and baby and bags...but I trust it will come and before I know it, a couple years will pass and I will be lugging two of these adorable creatures around.

Of course I can't even think about that now, they grow up so fast I barely want to blink, because I don't want to miss a thing. The preciousness of her squirming in my lap, giggling and cooing is enough for me right now...and it probably will be for a while.

I miss being pregnant a little...being so close to her, keeping her perfectly safe and warm and fed. It was alot easier of a task when she was a part of my body. Now everything is guesswork and no sleeping and eating whatever I can get down with one hand...I am so glad she is here, but so afraid she will grow up too fast. It is amazing how quickly she adapts and learns and I love to observe it and be a part of it, yet part of me wishes it took more time...that she would stay a tiny baby for much longer...