There is nothing you can read, hear, observe or imagine that could prepare you for motherhood. I am filled with joy, fear, confusion, and love and it is so overwhelming that I am guessing that I cry alot more than she does. I am in awe of her beauty, amazed by her tiny fingers and toes, all the possibilities that lie ahead of her. I am humbled by her very existence and incredulous that Charlie and I could create something so sweet and so perfect.
She is spending more time awake now, and will sit for an hour and half at a time just yawning and stretching and cooing and looking at everything new around her. And today she giggled. Not just one of her little noises, she was half sleeping and she busted out smiling and laughed. Of course, I understand she doesn't (or, at least, isn't supposed to) mean it but it sure looked and sounded and felt quite genuine.
I could, and do, spend every minute I can just staring at her, almost half believing she is actually here. I don't want to miss any single moment, which seem still to pass too quickly, I can't believe she is already 9 days old.
I so love being a mommy. I knew I would, but I never imagined it would be as amazing as this.