Friday, February 1, 2008

A beautiful little mind of her very own

Happy Grandpa!

She's a silly sleeper

The most complicated relationship most of us ever have is the one we have with our mother. I look at my relationship with my own mothers, their relationships with their mothers, my friends and family and the relationship they had with their mothers.

And I am a mother now.

My daughter is so perfect and wonderful and sweet and smart and beautiful, and in many ways she will always be, although one day she will make decisions i can't relate to or understand, she will do things i don't agree with, she will have a mind of her own.

A beautiful little mind of her very own.

Right now we are super buddies, we need each other and love each other and spend the majority of our time and energy and attention on each other, and I love it. I love every little moment of it and it is hard to believe that one day she will be embarrassed to be seen with me at the mall, or would rather spend holidays with her friends at some ski resort, and will have a little life of her own.

I really hope that our relationship is positive and safe for her and full of extra delicious love. I really hope she actually likes me as a person, is proud to have me as a mom, and is not exactly horrified the day she realizes that there are some ways in which she is much like me, just because she grew up in my presence.

I hope we turn out as close as we are now, just different. And all I can do to that end is be the best possible mother I can be, whether she agrees with my decisions or not.

I am so lucky that Charlie gives me the opportunity to spend my time with her, nurturing and teaching and loving her, especially right now when she is so receptive to it.

Her grandparents just left this morning, and it was so nice to see them hold her and love her and be in the very presence of her sweetness. Her Grandpa is so smitten with her, and she likes him a lot too. In fact he can calm and quiet her almost as well as I can, which was an awesome feature to have in a Grandpa for the week.

I hate that we are so far away from most of the grandparents, because I do want her to grow up knowing all of them. I guess we will be racking up miles with the airlines!

No comments: